時間永遠不夠用,事情永遠做不完。事情總會越來越多,當然有一些不是分內之事。
這些請求可以大致分為三類:
1、與我有關責無旁貸的;
2、雖然與我有關,但是請求的內容不合時宜或不和情理;
3、沒有義務給予承諾的請求。
How to refuse others firmly and politely?
如何堅定且禮貌的拒絕別人呢?
Step 1: Listening.
第一步:傾聽
It’s not simply hearing what the other person is saying. You have to literally stop what you’re doing, and carefully listen through what they say.
不是讓你單純聽見對方講什么,而是真的停下你手上的事,然后認真聽對方把事情說完。
The point is to let the other person see that you are willing to help, and let them understand that you already know their needs.
重點是讓對方看得出你愿意幫忙,并且讓對方明白你已經知道了他們的需求。
In this way, even if you eventually refuse them, they will understand that you are not available, instead of not willing to help.
這樣一來,即使你最終拒絕了對方,他們也會知道你是真的沒時間,而不是單純地不想幫忙。
Step 2: Start with Conclusion when Refusing
第二步:拒絕的時候先說結論
We all hope that other people will come to a conclusion quickly, but when we speak, we instinctively start from the beginning of the story.
我們都希望別人快點說結論,但自己講話的時候卻總是本能地從頭說起。
This way of speaking is not good for communication, because the other person usually does not have so much patience to hear you finish your speaking, and by the time you come to the conclusion, their attention has long gone.
這樣的說話方式是非常不利于溝通的,因為對方通常沒有那么多耐心聽你講完,當你說到結論的時候,他們的注意力早就消散了。
If you want to refuse somebody, just tell them NO, and then explain the reasons why.
如果你要拒絕對方,就先直接告訴對方不行,然后再講為什么不行。
Step 3: Provide an Alternative Solution
第三步:提供備用方案
In situations like this, don’t just tell the other person that you don’t have the time. Instead, you should give them a time when you would be available. For example, you may say “Sorry, I really don’t have the time right now. I have to get off work on time. Is it OK if we talk tomorrow morning?"
這個時候不要劈頭蓋臉地告訴對方你沒時間,而是向對方提供一個可行的時間,例如:“抱歉,我現在真的沒時間,等下必須準時下班,明早OK嗎?”
In addition, if you have finished listening to the other person’s needs and finally choose to refuse him, you can also recommend him a person whom you feel can help him.
另外,如果你已經聽完了對方的需求,而最終選擇拒絕他,也可以向他推薦一個你覺得可以幫到他的人。
In this way, although you refused him, he still can feel your support.
這樣一來,雖然你拒絕了對方,但依舊讓他們感受到了你的支持。
In a word, refusal is inevitable, but the way of refusal is optional.
總而言之,拒絕是不可避免的,而拒絕的方式是可以選擇的。
An inappropriate refusal may cause great harm to your working life.
一次唐突的拒絕可能會給你的職場生活帶來很大的傷害。
An artistic refusal, on the other hand, may lead you to some unexpected benefits.
而一次藝術性的拒絕則能幫你獲得很多意想不到的好處。
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