關系特點會決定你的關系狀況（雙語）

We're no strangers to relationship problems. Now, new research has found that being prone to feelings of guilt can make partnerships more challenging — and cause us to shy away from them.

我們對于關系問題并不陌生。現在新的調查發現感到羞愧會使伙伴關系更具挑戰性-導致我們害羞的遠離他們。

The study, published in last month's issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, used a series of five experiments to examine how people's susceptibility to guilt affected the likelihood that they'd enter into a new partnership. Participants first completed a questionnaire about how guilty or ashamed they would feel in various situations — for example, would they keep extra change if a salesclerk didn't notice?

研究，出版于上個月的個性日志和社會心理的頭條，用了一系列的五次實驗來檢驗人們的感覺是怎樣的對于羞愧影響他們進入一段新關系的可能性。參與者首先完成了一張調查問卷關于他們會怎樣感覺羞愧或羞恥在不同的情景中---例如，他們會保持額外的改變嗎如果銷售員沒有注意？

Then, in each experiment, participants were given a task that required some expertise. For instance, a participant would be instructed to work on an accounting task with a partner who just so happened to be an expert in accounting. The first participant then got to decide whether they would be scored as a team or as individuals.

然后，在每次試驗中，給予參與者的任務需要一些專長。例如，參與，者會被指導從事一個算賬的任務和一個伙伴碰巧是算賬專家。第一個參與者會決定它們是作為團隊還是個體計分。

The results showed that participants who were more prone to feeling guilty were less likely to form partnerships — meaning collaborate and combine scores — with people they perceived to be more competent. The authors suggest this might be because the guilt-prone people were concerned they would get more than they gave, thus letting their partners down. They preferred to do poorly on the task on their own, rather than potentially disappoint their partners.

結果表明參與者更易于感到羞愧的更不可能形成伙伴關系---意味著合作和獲得分數---她們認為更具競爭性的人。作者認為這可能是因為易于羞愧的人關心它們會得到什么而不是給予什么一次，因此使伙伴們沮喪。它們更喜歡自己做任務，而不是潛在的使伙伴失望。

Of course, this study looked at business partnerships, not romantic ones. But, other studies have shown that guilt and shame, which are clinically different concepts but often overlap, can play huge roles in both starting and maintaining dating-type relationships, too. Feeling guilty can be a good thing (it makes us more likely to apologize and smooth things over), but only when we've actually done something wrong. Guilt trips for no reason — or just feeling guilty all the time — can cause a buildup of resentment. The effects of shame are especially pronounced for those dealing with anxiety disorders.

當然，這種研究看重商業伙伴關系而不是感性關系。但是其他研究表明羞愧和害羞，不同的概念經常部分重疊，在開始和維持日常類型的關系上也扮演重要的角色。感到害羞是一件好事（它使我們更易道歉，把事情解決），但是只有當我們真正做錯事的時候。無原因的害羞---或一直感到害羞--會導致憤恨的積壓。害羞的效應尤其被那些處理焦慮混亂的人了解。

So, if you're prone to this "important" trait, learning to give yourself a break could be the secret to a happier relationship.
 

因此，如果你易于這種“重要的”特點，學會放松你自己會是快樂的關系的秘密。

看了這篇文章的人還瀏覽了下面這些內容

　　雅思口語測試 http://www.rjcnn.com/ielts/

　　英語口語免費測試  http://www.rjcnn.com/daily/